the things that are considered femme always rub me the wrong way
dfab ‘femmes’ in general rub me the wrong way esp those who are perceived as female or whatever
yeah…there’s someone i follow who’s dfab who is always like “omg i’m so femme it hurts” like what…
Ok, why aren’t DFAB folk allowed to ID femme now? As far as I know, femmeness isn’t exclusively a trans identity, but a queer one as well. It’s reclaiming femininity and saying “hey it isn’t a bad thing”. Like can someone legitimately explain why we are saying we can judge what is considered femme when it is a queer/trans ID? Unless DFAB folk are appropriating transfemininity with like “FTMTF” bullshit, what is the problem with DFAB queers IDing femme?
I think the whole “femmeness” thing really leaves trans women behind. For AFAB people, femininity is always something they have had a steak in. AFAB people are always societally allowed to be feminine. I do think AFAB people can identify as femme, but I think AFAB people who identify as femme need to realize that they are handed femininity on a silver platter.
As trans women, we have to take femininity for ourselves, claim it our own, and in doing so we become the target of not only personal attacks, but a larger system of denigrations of our identity based on our identity and presentation.
It’s almost like, condescending, in a way? Like wow, congratulations on being femme, society at large must hate feminine cis women.
um, you might wanna stop and think about WHO has always been allow their femininity and their femme-ness, cause there’s a WHOLE lot of women of color who would have something to say about that. there’s a whole lot of women of color who are hated who are hated for simply being female, of color and alive. there’s a reason Sojourner Truth was asking “ain’t i a woman.” there’s a reason trans women of color face more violence than white women of color and it has a shit ton to do with who is allowed to be a femme woman and who’s not.
ETA: and i’m a black queer cis femme, so i don’t want to speak on the things i don’t experience. but tot hink that all women have had their femininity accepted, let alone exalted, yeah, naw.